Many people live in a constant state of annoyance or mild irritation. They live with just enough anger to feel misery but not so much that they lose control and serious damage. Most often they live their lives in this prison and never stop to ask if there could be a better way. The formal definition of the word “annoyed” is “to feel slightly angry”. Anger exists on a continuum ranging from mild irritation to rage. Because annoyance exists on the earlier stages of this continuum people fail to see it can be just as harmful or destructive as rage in the long term. In fact, many would argue that rageful Anger at least causes impact and changes situations whereas living with annoyance or irritation causes no real impact on others and the only people who quietly and silently suffer are the people themselves who live with the annoyance.
People who live in constant annoyance or irritation wear it on their faces or their moods but often won’t do anything with the experiences in their lives that trigger their annoyance. The energy just sits in an idle way within their soul. Some of the behaviors they engage in might include nitpicking, complaining, being inpatient with others and simply just being difficult to be around. The most problematic issue with living with annoyance is that few people take it seriously enough to do something about it and it becomes a life sentence. People who feel annoyed and constantly irritated might lack joy, motivation, excitement and so forth. It is a real problem.
If you find yourself suffering from annoyance or mild irritation, there are some tools that can help you alleviate these symptoms.
- Take time to find out common elements of your annoyance. Is it certain people, noises, experiences, or challenges that cause you to feel annoyed? There are real concrete reasons keeping your annoyance alive. You have to take the time to examine what these reasons are.
- Start to rate your anger from 1-10. We call this an Anger Scale. On this scale start to document situations that could or would get you to 1, 2, 3 all the way to about 5. Start to be familiar with the severity of your feelings on this scale. This exercise gets you to start paying attention to small things that provoke you that you might have ignored in the past
- Make a decision that moving forward anytime your anger hits even a (1) on this scale, you will address it. You will acknowledge the trigger and express how you feel to the person at that moment if and when possible. If it is not relational, respond in your mind to the situation how you can avoid the problem in the future. E.g. waking up earlier to avoid a long line up instead of waking up later and facing the line up.
Most often, the reason we feel annoyed is because we minimize situations and don’t address small problems because we don’t think “it’s that big a deal”. However if we do this enough times, and in enough situations, we create a buildup of energy that translates into the annoyance we feel all the time. The goal is to deal with every issue, and not just the ones we think are big problems.
If you feel you struggle with Annoyance and want support on your journey please contact us at 1-866.512.2275. Our professional Anger Management Specialist are ready and willing to assist you. For further info on our Anger Management services, log on to www.angermanagement.ca