Everyone has had that boss or manager that thought they were untouchable and used their power to degrade or instil fear in employees. “Get back to work” they say and everyone scrambles to get back to their position. What about the mother who says “Wait till your dad comes home, then you’ll see!” The unfortunate truth is that fear works! When we use anger as a way to instil fear and control, others cower and often give into our demands.
However, people who use this style of control have their own emotional issues they haven’t quite resolved and there’s always a story behind why they feel they need to control others. We see these tendencies even in people of authority such as police officers, security guards, and other enforcers. The truth is that using Anger in this way works if you are looking to control others, or need people to comply with what you want.
The question to ask yourself though, is if that is what you want in a relationship with your loved ones. Do you want to be in a relationship where the other person feels controlled by you and is afraid to be themselves? Do you want your wife, or husband, children, friends, strangers to be afraid of you? Do you want them to be afraid to tell you the truth and confide in you? If your answer is yes, then this is the perfect strategy to use with them. Continue to control and demand, using force and fear as your main weapon. Do know if you use anger to control others.
When Anger is used to instill Fear and Control
- People will always resent you because you control them
- You will never really know the truth about how they truly feel about you
- If they get a chance to get away from you, very likely the won’t be coming back
There are many other ways to get people to listen to you and to meet your needs. Controlling and overpowering people are some ways, respect and love is another. If you struggle with controlling tendencies and use fear tactics to get what you want, consider another option.
If you believe you can benefit from Anger Management services for control issues contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will be pleased to answer any questions and provide the support you need.